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The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
December 20, 2012 1:00am-1:35am PST on COMW

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PG-13;L Sen. Alan Simpson News/Business. Sen. Alan Simpson. (2012) Former senator Alan Simpson. (CC)

Broadcast Summary

00:00
woody far yeah money steve saved stretch uh love cost need much real life hold talk india touch check black board happy thanks helmet flying budget tongue telling actually laughing bulletin hey outsourcing brickleberry
00:30
gonna steve suck ooh final india around love win backing tried somehow push pony pathetic shit understand yeah rock
01:00
steve treat run music re excuse place ve indian shit others india garbage left whether fired rock pony
01:30
let beatles attached chuckles egomaniac practiced compliment ve got ass bad lazy tits head okay guys looks fired guess sorry brown stick vagina connie bigger ruined walking finally
02:00
yes bulletin americans department understand outsourcing mohindernanthan hey ah may let hell help heavy right fired india asian board sorry speak phone accent indian entire ringing service company calling stealing entitled customer
02:30
ugh fine happened corrected convinced conditions outsourced pay old week full jobs hour month steve ators korea right three worse hired safer stand south better health turban robots goddamn working whatever benefits
03:00
america central stewart applause clacking typewriter headquarters em ass jon ding love show news york hire dance worry music bleep world daily crying comedy cheers stupid
03:30
jon simpson tonight welcome ashford show singing alan bowles stewart laughter trio guest third one daily album name
04:00
world america let need lead nation awesomeness hope many they side earth begin cafta great famed people senate states united across wanted beacon strong inspire waiting tonight example humility american re continue leadership republicans
04:30
world beacon laughter hope follow leadership opportunity jon rest send week rain hear home globe bleep drones behind created actually hellfire presented
05:00
nations hill united treaty america opportunity disabilities kind jon once ramp again equal act senate follow better rights become shining vote example welcome promote disabled tomorrow standard long approved laughter law inspired americans treatment countries city advocates leadership stabilities 126
05:30
laughter standard uniifying treatment republican unassailable disabilities if ii bob party might world within states united create leader polite former certain matched country veteran injuries proposal
06:00
kerry senator comeback secretary retirement personally differences mr huh put jon dole sure much john good main thank aside rifles senate mccain little current endorse ribbing natured probably
06:30
senator mccain title luminaries prospectus obstinnence massachusetts mr saw may held rice such right state great susan result regard siewrd current cabinet history position referred ascension referring honorable secretary references throughout
07:00
bam laughter achison senator applause including president ba mr two not jon isn much laugh thank kerry vance latch hammed course things cheers others laughte
07:30
ribs kerry nudged mccain laughter secretary disproportionate mr one hit job life gooi like joke face makin might solid guide turned little teased around concise failure stabbed applause
08:00
senate reschaim american mad authority righteous worldwide exceptional gone jon fail lead elder moral chief state bleep votes 66 world great would third equal failed two needed heroes rights treaty mission support men finally disabled diplomat
08:30
laughter republican republicans official unpopular 38 perceived dangerous ow oh god jon vote hate what tell base game rock among voted power guess wrong people happen bottom please segment senator granting applause anything
09:00
disability encourages jon considered leadership protections wheelchairs comprehensive mind gold keep open hope laws right moral bleep world people period united rights signing already reasons willing helping nations disabled standard opposing laughter beaconing
09:30
live treaty laughter something countries signatories sovereignty nay gold show size used else crazy other grave never world maybe value loses ideals reject trying oppose concern america standard
10:00
children stuff parents standards disability especially recommendations 20 law jon ago yeah sign home fear best that land years voted decide affect school treaty action ability disabled interest improved laughter interfere
10:30
force sorry treaty accessible wheelchair men enforcement steggasaurus bob eve dole down blue stop else room ramp adam ride build living object school simply mechism helmets kitchen storming anything laughter bow supported americans cafeteria
11:00
treaty thought powerful world bleep fingered fingers laughter traps one mechanism chinese everything mother free boy enforcement really change jon relax
11:30
paranoia laughter right ran screaming applause gentleman lem breakfast include disability cheers nay delusional covered classification senate qx mile
12:30
64 sure salad lunch miller dinner
13:00
miller 64 cause cheers worthy sweat cut yes worked paunch balance wrong oh beer deserved filler song love beers life live
14:00
jon thank cheers welcome joining applause
14:30
wooo marijuana legalizing vulnerable considered legislators impressionable us pot jon among makes robert affect nation mission bubbies citizens legalize advocate laughter madrigal convince starting audiences medicinal
15:00
montel marijuana preaching 100 arthritis alzheimer retirement communities show let long gets that drag tour road right grass old people almost across silver buying treats pro taking seniors teaches enables florida medical him williams benefits glaucoma
15:30
90 bald black slippery marijuana certainly advocates pro pot tow nut hell crap okay care drug slope right raise gives shoot sacks gateway heroine williams
16:00
pain marijuana probably schedule fits lifestyle unprepared abe completely away tote life judy sit doing bound shown couch judge magic lot maybe thing reduce stoned better around eat affect senior elderly nothing quality brownie home medical actually watching yes
16:30
marijuana prescribed side doctor effects examination fibromyalgia old much fine biker slurs motor tough slows drugs using drive things speech pretty skills federal exactly shouldn multiple diabetes glaucoma correctly arthritis medicines sclerosis government
17:00
side effects unpleasant government heart infections uncontrollable lung bleedinbleeding death taste onset fatal lead cause early mouth stiff hunger ulcers weed stroke sexual may cancer attack muscle seizure hand muscles diarrhea dry problems insomnia approved syndrome rare movements confusion immediate mine
17:30
try buffet buzzing reaction anything listening keyboarding help deal feel fish rest seal much life free kind enjoy right pitch thank white final highs hooked better seniors chronic dangers willing despite
18:00
why feeling vigilant anything marijuana understand transvestite try let move high gang role tell play sure okay knew hang allen legal pills shoot battle bishop travel needed senior citizen hookers bangkok shouldn
18:30
smoking looking someone function pressure laughter community pot man let able prey sick pure peer cool many soul brave pills black vowed center remain fallen seniors
19:00
got pills let heart already earlier three met awesome thelma marijuana sure fix enough tell trade oh pain
19:30
pill makes include doctors larger may cigarette path colored prescribed truth exhilaration jane lenses enlightenment steve mary effect jazz whooo side
23:00
jon guest cheers former tonight welcome senator applause
23:30
senator simpson thought cochair national commission responsibility saw sir jon from nice yuck plan last allan young liven known maybe reform please fiscal bowles wyoming welcome segment
24:00
laughter let jon ago years cookies chaiapproached set bag next sure half gift start maybe thing wouldn deficit commits tochair aproasmed everybody reduction everything
24:30
people plan years everybody mosterably tax republicans precipiceave find seen much sage town woke young hates hours cliff study later thing stand within advice coming waking raising austere country suddenly 24 happened diligent democrats
25:00
five hole republicans democrat democrats economist progressive 20 tax cut got dick grow dems years digit great every growth coburn double durbin ranging spending oklahoma illinois
25:30
watch kudos republicans successful effectively independent congratulations ode sir god jon off sake house offer plans super lennon pissed reason derided opening america majority applause laughter everybody competing president presented submitted
26:00
trust guys months studied simpson establish recommendation oh got didn fall eyes took plan tough three party eight cliff stand saying forgot coming fiscal bowles leaders steeper
26:30
guys boehner congress 70 everybody framework government republicans tea old job deal love next poor stop plan went left shive there voted party every limit hoping people behind around durbin go looking someone package
27:00
guy little home jon interest everybody nonrefundable 12 tax end 500 000 love need bucks helps might loves credit talking hoarnlg instead million mortgage something framework ownership deduction deductions
27:30
talk time might bigger corporate competitive corporations 20 ho tax jon lot run eye high much last years rates place cheers bowles making profits simpson freudian lowering applause factually
28:00
time actually stagnated corporate proportions corporations productivity ho 20 30 tax run gone past rate slip seem yeah high years world wages guess favor worker highest chasing profits confused
28:30
tax name stuff trillion american deductions expenditures 80 20 36 rid got code away call took wake people system gimming earmarks spending
29:00
ll 70 000 bring dividends corporate everything 26 23 14 36 210 tax pay buy err rate skin least grand using twice people states united stocks america instead sticking democrat democrats
29:30
jon crazy people bonuses talk senator little thaidged bit capitol hill republican around kennedyicism ll rightck spss really aarp joined stick
33:00
wgbh access captioned brilliant 00 sponsored captioning improvisation zen 11 org jon show long life join group media music chris night comedy cheers moment studio jersey central rhythms tomorrow christie applause governor wonderful
33:30
korea north threat mach tonight klinger hand stephen laughter eye homosexuality
34:00
laughter big book gladwell applause gladwells concealed 50 dog dogs plus mean bravo fancy carry guest legal cured wrote states wonder author cheers report weapon yorker malcolm ratings colbert forward careful
34:30
stephen ladies cheers welcome applause audience chanting gentlemen

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